playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
