Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize