lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him