I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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