she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..