Your tits are I can't wait for
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize