That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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