Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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