K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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