I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize