Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
