somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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