did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I am mentally ready for anal.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize