New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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