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Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The police scanner is talking about you again....
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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