It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
