I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
