just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
