Fuck appropriateness.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
