If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
