Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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