I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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