I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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