she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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