did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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