from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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