Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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