make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
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