You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
