Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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