Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
