I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
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I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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