9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
