i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
