Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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