pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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