You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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