Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
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Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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