Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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