If i come over, it means nothing
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
