How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
