Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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