ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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