so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
