so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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