Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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