I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
