well I can't set my house on fire every night
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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