I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
God, I missed his penis.
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