I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
