gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
