You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
