Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
