why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
