R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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