We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
