It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
