i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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