i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
birth control should be required to get into college
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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