we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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