i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
