I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
