It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
