He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
