It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
