butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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