if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
