WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
