Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
