I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
