it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
