im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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